Sing

Prata, Diarrhoea and the Gents

2006-11-28T03:16:00.000-08:00

It all begun with the late nite dinner I had with Chow, Kewei and Jib at Causarina Prata.

We ended our meeting with b&J to finalise and tidy up some details for the BIG day. It was 10pm and we were famished. Not knowing any better, I ordered 2 pratas - onion and egg, cheese and mushroom. I didnt know both are THAT huge. Had not much help from any of the guys so force fed myself.

XXX

5:33am this morning. A pang of pain wacked me in the stomach so hard I crawled out of bed to relief myself. It doesnt stop there. Every half an hour, I'll be in the toilet fighting a war. Finally, at 7am, it settled down and I went back to catch another wink.

My mom gave me med. It helped for the whole morning. Until noon time............

XXX

After the briefing in Cisco, Sandy and I headed back to the office at 12pm. The med's effect wore off. So bet 12-3pm, I visited the toilet 3 times. On the 3rd account, there was a Q for the ladies. I reli cannot wait, and dashed into the Gents.

And relieved myself...

Until i realised the flush doesnt work.

Too much crap....hahaha....

2006-11-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

Cant think of a title for this entry. Not gg to think about it given my current state of mind.

It's been 2 mths since I've started this job and though it's not the most stressful job (supportive boss, cheerful frens), must admit I've not given my all in it. So, not going to complain that I cant hit this mth's targets or whatsoever cuz ya, it's my lack of discipline. Been taking my time to learn the basics...but the load getting quite excessive. Servicing issues, learning how to sell UTs, structure a loan, keeping updated with the latest news...except for number 1 in the list, I've never experienced any of the rest.

Fund managers from Aberdeen and Lion Capital were here yesterday giving us talk about Thailand's economy situation and Thai funds. Dished out the same EBIT, P/E graphs, giving the same talk on why we must recommand Thailand funds...interesting to know the factors influencing a country's economy, not fun to go through in such details - twice. Take home message is the same -- Thai funds good, therefore, sell.

I was so bored...eclairs were good. And it's amusing to see flustered Sarah writing messages on paper (not being very discreet either) and passing it down to a sleepy Serene and eventually to me (she was sitting behind us).

Didnt have a good zzz yesterday. Guess afterwork meetings can cause insomnia/constant dreaming cuz all the information keeps the mind active for a few hours...can even feel that my poor brain's trying to sieve, catelogue and digest information.

Neck's so stiff. Shoulders very cramped after hunching over the keyboard for long hours. Back to work...have to participate in the "Clean Desk Policy" as per Claris's request. I admit, I need to do that. Customers' info has been disappearing when I need it the most and appearing at the strangest places, like at home.

On the Line Again

2006-09-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

Crap...I'm back on the line again. There're no calls at the moment but I'm not complaining. Not surprised that there are no calls either cuz the configuration must have screwed up again. Let me repeat, I'm not complaining.

This is not the right attitude, but honestly, I don't care. Everything is unplanned for, everything is not ready and yet they just threw us on the line. There's no fixed schedule cuz it's not possible at all, and there's no confirmation as to when we need to go online earlier on. PK called me on the hp to ask why we didnt log in as expected. I told him we were not aware of it at all and the leader's away for training. We didnt even have our log in IDs.

I've been on the phone since 1145am and till now, not a single call. I think the config cocked up and the calls are not coming in but I DON'T CARE.... :p

Sing

Steve Irwin

2006-09-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

The Crocodile Hunter passed on. One of the world's most passionate conservationists passed on. I didnt believe it at first and even emailed to a close friend to confirm his demise.

And here's the reply:

"First of all, I have to agree that it is very sad to hear a person passed on. It really is, but at the sametime, as a person who always is around dagerousanimals and not to mention wild, it is not a surprise that one day he will passed on doing what he likes.

My first question when he passed on was, was he eaten by crocs? And i couldn't help laughing when the answer was no, but a stingray barb stab him. The way he likes to provoke animals will certainly endanger his own life. So he does serve himself right, if you look from another point of view. Anyway, i rest my case."

How could she even laugh about the way he died and worse still, mocked that he deserved it? I, for one, am extremely disappointed in her. Not to mention, she's a scientist herself and her absolute fake courteous, ranked, reply ("First of all, I have to agree that it is very sad to hear a person passed on...) showed no hints of sympathy for a DEAD man.

Since when did the way death striked matters? A man DIED here. And he's no ordinary man but someone who had made contributions to where it doesnt seem to matter but impacts us the most.

Let me tell u this: If he was stabbed while at war, I'm sure it'll be far more honourable and respect-deserving than being killed by a stingray barb while filming a documentary.

My reply to her email:

"He's one of the most passionate conservationists around and it's people like him who brings ordinary folks closer to wildlife throughhis "reckless" ways while the rest of us sit back comfortably, watch him risk his life, and critic his careless behaviour which caused his inevitable death.

From my point of view, whether or not the reason behind his leaving is laudable or not, deserving or not, like all conservationists like him and all scientists like you, deserve all the respect one can give.

He died doing what he loved most. How many people in the world caneven say that they are doing what they love most? I for one, can't."

Sing

Tired...

2006-09-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

It's the last lap of the training race but I'm getting very tired, very burnt and almost sick of these endless papers, exams, retests blah blah blah.

1 Unit Trust Retest to settle by tmr morning 10am. Working hard on it now...

1 PFC proficiency test for lunch tmr and I'm struggling fruitlessly against the Z-monster...

1 CMFAs module out of the 6 to be cleared on this coming Wed...WTF...it's the mother of all pains...

Help...gimme tonic. Gimme coffee. Chicken essence...

The thing is, I don't wan to stay awake anymore. I wan to zzz for 24 hrs...

Life Goes On

2006-08-18T00:44:00.000-07:00

Work
Undergoing draining training now for about 4 weeks already.

Some honeymoon! There's an internal assessment to be passed every other day, there's always a CMFAs module to be passed every single week, and there's this looming threat in getting kicked out if we don't pass both the internal assessments and CMFAs modules by 3 tries.

The holy ones are already taking action against Matt, that poor guy. Reli hope the holy ones will offer him something else instead of kicking him out of the company...he's got a wife and children to feed.

So far so good...passed 3 modules out of the 6 CMFAs modules over the past 3 weeks...3 more to cramp by 2 weeks...not to mention, there're 3 more retests to be taken...*pengz* Next week's Mortgage week and I hate mortgage though it's gona be my bread and butter, tea and coffee.

Sigh.

I asked for it. But it's for the better! haha................................................

Friends
One thing good about training is the friends I made...Sarah is one memorable one. Damn farni, tht girl. Damn smart cuz it takes a lot of brains to be as witty like her. But no...she made "wit" look ez and natural to "do", like breathing, eating, shitting, sleeping............

So's Serene. I knew she's very sharp and intelligent. I just didn't noe she's THAT sharp and intelligent. Both Sarah and I have been referring to her assessments for better answers and I tell u, she's a walking answer sheet.

I wish I was like the 2 of them.

Wished I can converse more intelligently, be more understood, be clearer in my foggy mind, be more shrewd.

There are times I just want to blame someone, some thing, some event, some god-noes-wat for this lack of ability to speak audibly. I stammer, I slur, I speak too fast, too lor-soh, so much so even surrounding close ppl are not listening anymore. Was it cuz that bitch of a teacher kept slapping and punishing me for being talkative in class? Or does it boil down to those miserable genes? Some of my cousins have short tongues. I didnt measure mine. What r the measures of not only conversing well with another human being, but engage him and bring across ur POV? A longer tongue?

Then again, do I even have POVs? Ha...been day dreaming, no, stoning, most of the time. Nope, I have no comments on the war in the Middle East. Wish them well though. Nope, unlike Sarah, I havent thought of what to do with my hair and what cutting is flattering for my figure for my ROM dress either. No, I care, just didnt think about it yet.

Speaking of which....

Love
ROM. STILL haven't fixed a date. STILL haven't chosen my dress. STILL haven't booked any bloody venue to hold the solumnisation at.

Have booked a slot for ROM dress fitting though. This Sat, 730pm. Mom, yao and yao's melissa and chow will be going. Sarah wanted to go, but she's gotta mug for her M6 coming up next week.....she even asked if it's possible to postpone it. Welllll...tough luck my dear.

Chow's been trying to work out these days. From the bottom of my heart, I thank god for his efforts...call me ungrateful, selfish, whatever u want, BUT I'm sure he can do better than that...I can't see tht shadow of abs he claimed to have developed after pilates...his arms are fine but he's been building more bulk there, I duno why. And at the rate he's eating.................

Im exasperated. Poked fun at him, made negative comments, all these against my conscience but hoped to pull him out of this unhealthy lifestyle...I noe he's trying...he took up pilates, that's for one...but he wont cut back on his intake. Felt very very very bad commenting about his growing waistline and not acknowledge his efforts, cuz I was like that when we first met and he NEVER pushed me in losing weight. Work did. *FYI, I was the same size as he was 2 years ago, 10 kg lighter*. Then again, a 25 year old should never have a 50 year old beer belly and double chin. NEVER.

I don't noe wat to do with him. He kept quiet when we talk about it. I'm hurting his feelings, but I reli don't noe what to do with him...help.

Sing

IT''S ALIVE!!!!

2006-07-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

I held my breath as I pushed the button to revive the sleeping frankenstein...

1...

2...

3...and the blank screen blinked its first sign of life after 2 mths of domancy...

And it's alive!!!!!! My new PC adaptor works!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!

My bros will be happier than I am. Have been hogging heir PC for 2 mths. But hey, they can't be playing PC war games all the time anyway.

Some updates...

Moving on...FINALLY

It's my last day tmr (KNS, sat still need to work another half day...bah!) and they've confirmed that we'll start training next Monday onwards. Not feeling those waves of emotions of leaving this place like the first time. Am quite happy in fact. In any case, I'll stand firm in my belief that nothing nothing nothing! is confirmed until I personally go down for the OL training and complete it. Hahahaha....

They know we're getting MARRIED!!!

I've been harping about it for the past 12 mths yes I noe. The whole world should noe about it by now but guess what? His parents only got to know it 2 weeks ago. But better late than never. Didnt get that same resistance like we did 1 year back, thanks to nCy and his plot to lessen the impact of the shock.

(till date, i still duno what's so shocking about this. it's a grave decision yes, but it's not like a shot gun marriage or wat mah!)

His strategy is to let his mom have the first scoope of the news. Cuz his mom will not resist and tell his dad about it first before we tell him ourselves. That's suppose to let everything sink in first....then WACK AH!

(Machiam like his dad is made of stone, cannot absorb any water until dinos start breeding.)

nCy: Ma, do you have any good dates for ROM in mind?
His mom: HUH? Have you told your dad?
nCy: Eh, not yet. So u haf any dates in mind?
His mom: Tell your dad hor! Must tell him hor! (looks at me) Are u sure u can cope? It won't be easy. That time I had to take care of those 2 and do the housework, this time u need to work, and do the housework. Where will u be staying then?
Me: Eh...we won't be getting the flat yet now.
His mom: (Looks at nCy) U better tell ur dad hor! (then walks away)

Note: She doesnt answer your questions. His mom is not displeased, just kept frowning, I don't noe why also.

We broke the news to his dad last Sunday after picking durians at Rifle Range road....

nCy: Pa, we've decided to ROM at the end of the year.
His dad: Oh. Ok.

Short and sweet.

It's a little strange to have so little (happy) reaction from his parents...no signs of exuberation, or full of parental advice and guidance. Guess cuz I live in a very reactive environment. My mom was hunting high and low for a good fengshui book to find a good date while my dad clapped nCy on the back and started to give him fatherly advice on what to watch out in a marriage, blah blah, blah blah blah.

nCy claimed he was anticipating that kind of reaction and no, he doesnt think they didnt react cuz of his choice of life partner but cuz they are just lidat.

Shrugs.

Tearing down walls of stereotypes

Went out with nCy to do door-to-door surveys yesterday nite at serangoon and it's quite an eye opener! It was a banking survey so I had this mentality that 50+ aunties and uncles won't know much about investments and loans but noooo ... There's this chinese family we interviewed whose sole breadwinner is a bus driver with only sec 4 education named us couple of UTs and structured deposits they bought at a local bank. And that auntie is so sweet!!! She gave us 3 pieces of corn agar agar each at the end of the interview! She even let us in for me to copy that receipe! Must be cuz I can connect with her at an auntie level. Hahahaha!

The last family we interviewed are Indians. Im NOT racist ok, but I don't know any Indian frens so that typical Blangadesh stereotype kicked in. Plus, working in a call centre facing several demanding Indians doesnt help with the impression. But that family we went to are such nice people! :) They even have a Jack Russel they adopted from SPCA!

I must admit, this 2 hour experience rewarded us not only S$30+ but for me it helped in tearing down walls of stereotype. Feel like a frog in a well. And to think im a grad. ha.

Very Eng Now

2006-06-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

They confirmed verbally that both L and I will be moving on to the sales side. No paper work, no contract, nthg done at the moment. By right, supposed to have started my 6 weeks of honeymoon this wednesday and that was "confirmed" on Monday BUT!!!

D informed me on Tues that we are held back from training...

WAT the FISH!

L and I have the same sentiments. We both already have the mentality to leave this godforsakened shithole on Tuesday, already prepared a goodbye script on what to say to the rest of the dept, and for me, even baked a cake over the weekend and fed them well. And we were told we have to stay in this shithole for another god knows how long more.

I was peeved.

If they didnt rush and put me off schedule, I would still be on shift and will get the full shift allowance for another good 2 mths (next training session is in Aug). I wouldn't have planned my weekends to the brim. And now Im thrown back into this shithole, I cant go on shift cuz of my plans and therefore, I cant get my shift allowance.

Wah liew!! Im barely earning S$2.5k a mth! S$300 of shift allowance will not mean anything to those ah taos but it means the world to me!!!!! Im a pawn in a chessboard game obviously and what's held at stack is my job, my career and my moolah. How pathetic.

At least, Im not alone in this game of theirs.

So here I am. Manning the priority hotline and on good days there are only 1 call per half an hour. On bad days, there are 2 calls per half an hour. Yes, Im damn eng now. Not that I don't like it, but time passes too slowly and I would rather use this time to do something else. Youtube is not working well on the comp and it's very sian to watch anime that plays for 2 mins, and lags for another 5, plays for 2 mins again, lags for another 10.

What's left is me and my blog.

Black Clouds Hanging Over Many Heads

2006-06-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

Mine included.

Seems like the weather played a very big part in this. It's been raining continuously for the past few days in the morning...time will be better spent in bed instead of work.

Mel's job search continues. DFS rejected her. Can only imagine, after going through, what, 3-4 rounds of intense interviews, they said "no" to her. Quite a waste of time...No point telling her "It's ok dear, it's their loss". Read her blog, and I don't want to risk my life asking her "U ok?".

Fae's in a bad mood...felt quite guilty for missing out on her bday...gg for dinner with her this coming sunday.

Sigh.

Not in the mood to work today. Not in the mood for anything else that needs me to interact with ppl. Ppl are not interested in interacting with me, so why bother. haha. It's true. Mel didnt want to talk on the phone yest cuz Desperate Housewives has greater appeal. Chow was reading the papers while I was talking to him yesterday...was teling him some stuff for a good 10 min and he obviously didn't listen cuz he asked for my POV on the recently hedge funds plunge. That article was splashed across ST yesterday. He even asked me to repeat myself again when I complained that he's not listening. Sian lor! Can't be bothered and went to zzz shortly.

Looks like they are gg to post me to another dept to work cuz they took me off shift from June 30th onwards...they haven't confirmed with me yet though. it's gona be man-ning the EPB hotline and do sales at the same time. It's sort of like a promotion...will be a "high end" service consultant and a employee relationship manager. Shit, having cold feet now but feeling quite good abt myself too...heh...10 mths in this job and I'm moving on!!! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

move move move!!! hehe......

Sians...this plc is so cold it's difficult to type.. 44min to knock off, followed by a meeting

2006-04-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

My colleague juz tendered...another familiar face leaving the company.

The whole dept is filled with newbies. Can safely say that 60% are newbies and 40% are lao jiaos.

Not particularly close to them. Duno why but like cannot click la. So dont reli bother trying anyway.

Sians...recently signed up for another degree in finance in SIM. Will be useful in the future.

But now, just wondering if I should leave this plc...Im sort of slacking away, bo-chupping alot of stuff, basically losing my drive. J just asked me what substantial stuff can you write in the resume based on this job? Catch a 100 calls a day? Speak to a customer within 3 mins? Resol a customer? Make how much sales a day?

I didnt realise it. But it reli does sound very silly now. I mean, aside from call centre depts do companies reli want to hire someone who can catch that many calls a day? A receptionist dont even need that kind of ability.

Feeling a sense of dread now that this job might be leading me to nowhere. Even though if i stay on for a year plus, wat can it be said on my resume? What solid substance is there to back me up? Everyone in this dept is looking for greener pastures, and Im not sure if i shld either. A rolling rock/ball/stone (pick ur choice) gathers no moss. But if a rock were to standstill in a vacuum, what're the chances for a speck of dust to land on it?

And if I were to leave, where can I go? What can I do?

Sing

Feeloaders

2006-04-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

this job is not doing me any good.

getting more unbearable by the day who think they can get their way for anything they want. Freeloaders.

Working on Good Friday. Some holiday.

Taking a 5 min break. Let the bloody calls blink for all they want. I don't want to talk to them.

Sing

Enlistment Day

2006-04-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

Not my enlistment day. My brother's.

So cute. Can tell that he is a bagful of nerves when he said his oath (sounds damn serious man...heavy responsiblities on the shoulders on all NS men) although he kept boasting the previous night that it's going to be just a 6 day camping trip for him. Ya right, some camping trip lor. Middle of the night before his enlistment his face was green and he wanted to puke cuz he felt very nervous. He msn-ed till 2plus am with his frens and woke up very late on his BIG day.

Sweet of him though. He fried pancakes for the whole family. Mel was around to help out too.

Oh man...my baby brother has grown up!!! Heehee...hopefully NS can hammer his arrogance down and make him more respnsible...well, was told I put too much hope in NS but so far, the guys I know of? They turn out to be mother-lovers, domestic housekeepers and more understanding. There are bad eggs too -- some returned home full of angst and think it's their right for other family members to clean up after him. But ah well, just happy that he's off another stage of his typical singaporean man's life.

Miss him already tho. Im not much of a big sister all this time, but still have this tendency to worry for him a little. His mouth may get him into trouble, his size may make him a target, and his obvious ambition to enter OCS may make him look very 'extra'. In an environment where there is no TLC from Mel and my mom, ya, of course I'l b worried for him too.

Nah, he'll get over it.

Spelling Boohoohoohooo

2006-04-05T17:52:00.001-07:00

As I am approaching my one year anniversary with the working world, cant help but notice that my spelling is going bonkers.

Examples:

- messanger or messenger?
- embarressment or embaresment or embarressment??
- amuse or amuze?
- many more...

I ort to have my big orange Oxford sitting next to me.

On the other hand, my pride will never allow it resurrect from it's dusty grave.

Time to go back to school I guess.

My dear ah pui ah yi (literally, my fat aunty..she's not fat la, it's just her childhood nick) emailed to me to stop me from applying a grad or adv dip in banking and finance as it's a total waste of time. Instead she fwd me a link for a part time UOL finance and banking degree fr SIM. It's a 3 year course and honestly...ANOTHER 3 YEARS?!!?!?!!?!?

Better start to make up my mind to see if i wan to take it up...after the life science course in NUS, I'm so put off by the persue of academic excellence and all the projects, paper writing, etc etc etc...but then...my NUS degree proved me useful only to this far, and it's quite clear my research career in science was already nipped in the bud...

Have to continue to upgrade myself ya?

Spelling Boohoohoohooo

2006-04-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

2006-04-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

I accidentally knee-ed Chow in the mouth yesterday nite in an attempt to be sexy. It certainly killed all mood...He was sulking for a while over the slight swell and I was sulking in a guilty way.

One more reason to be depressed on my stupidity this week.

Other reasons are work related...got this nutcase who called in and making impossible, ridiculous demands. I spoke to him for 1.5h without knowing at all if he authentically is a customer of my bank cuz he refused to give me anything to verify. He demanded me to give me my name, age and even *gasp* mobile number.

Which I did gave to him.

Yes yes. Dumb of me. And I had 2 managers, 1 GM, a few other colleagues and 1 fiance to reminded me about it.

He called me 3 times on my mobile at, get this: 730am. He called to ask where are his proposals and such. Upon which it pissed the hell out of me and I told him it's STILL after office hours and if he wants to be dealt professional, call the hotline to speak to me during MY office hours. But nooooo...he didnt get the hint and he still continued his wayang, telling me that he needs to go the hospital for his chemo(yes, he has cancer, heart prob and is wheelchair bounded due to stroke). Then he put down the phone. He called another 2 more times. I refused to pick up and diverged my calls to Chow.

So far, he didnt call again. Thank goodness...

Anyway, it was escalated to my GM after a taiji practice. My manager didnt reli wanted to take the call initially cuz he thot it's not worth it. No, he's not a bad manager. It's just that he was a nutcase and we were not reli taking him for serious initially until a good fren of mine who's a PFC advice me that this can be a very serious issue. If he is reli who he claims (ie. a very very RICH but getting broke cust) and he carried out his threats in moving all his $$ from us to other countries, we are going to be in reli reli reli reli reli deep shit.

To which my SM replied to me: "At most, u lose ur job, I lose mine, and we'll be happier."

Quite true actually.

Anyway, he finally called up the psycho and decided that it's serious enuf, though his demands are totally insane (he wants the bank to visit him today after his heart operations with biz proposals), to be escalated to my GM. She tried to contact him but obviously didnt get to him.

Im starting to think this is either a prank call, or a nuthead from Woodbridge chalet running lose.

Come on! Don't you think that if u haf a heart surgery, u should REST?! U noe? Rest? Recuperate? Too much stress after an op and you may DIE???

Anyway, case closed for the moment...

Sing

Tennis! owww...

2006-04-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

Finally we got things moving! And by that, we uprooted ourselves from our comfort zone to workout...played his fav sport, tennis, for one and a half hours.

From the last time he played, he did improve by leaps and bounds. And unlike my brother, he doesnt criticise my ball sense, or the severe lack of it. Quite patient la...I just need time to get the feel of it. Slow learner mah, wat do you expect?

Im no Venus or Maria Sharapova but I'm getting the blunt of tennis elbows. Or elbows of a tennis player. Whatever. I meant that my elbows have this dull ache in it. My tendons felt sore and tender. I told him but he juz nodded and carried on practising his serves. *DUH...* And the SUN....urgh..

Yes, im whining. And no pls, dun get me wrong. Im starting to like the sport (though the main reason Im playing is tht can get him to MOVE it willingly). It's just that there's this preference for WATERsports under the hot hot sun and loads of tanning oil on my body. Too bad. Ppl I'm close to dun haf this affinity like mine. Moon's sensitive to the sun and the salted sea water. Mel's shy in her swimsuit. Kewei-chan...? Chow's hydrophobic (yes, something like lipids). My bros? Well, come on, u think they'll go out with their big bully of a sister to wakeboard? Mayb Xan and Alex but......

Sigh. So sad. So lonely. Time to get out and know more ppl in this field of passion.

Im Obese?!? Then Who's Average?!

2006-03-30T18:30:00.000-08:00

Went to California Fitness to collect my free 2 weeks trial with Chow Yong yesterday night at around 7pm plus. Initially wanted to collect it with Xan as well, but after hearing from Mel that the additional GV tix giveaway ran out (she visited the plc on Tue or Wed), he didnt want to go anymore.

Expected, we (more like I was cuz Chow has this amazing ability to show no interest and even slight disdain in the whole place and culture of CF) were pushed and nudged to buy a package from this fitness consultant J. Honestly, with her knees as big as small melons, she reli dun seem to paint a rosy picture of health and fitness. Note that her title in the company is highlighted in bold.

So mean of me.

Anyway, she showed us around and finally led us to a corner of the ground level that resembled a MLM setting -- seats around round tables, computers on some major desks...she first intro a fitness consultant to us who did a fat pinch test for us and guess wat??

BOTH Chow and I are under the obese category.

First, lemme explain on how amazing they rank your fitness level. There are 4 categories. Underweight, Very Fit, Fit and Obese. I don't understand lor...If you are unfit you are considered obese?? Isn't there a buffer of sorts in bet the last 2 levels??

Insane.

My fat percentage from this "moderately-accurate-test-even-if-tested-by-a-certified-trainer" is 31.1%. Absolutely insane. Either he is uncertified (cuz he reli chose all the spots women tend to stock up fats in) or he needs to get a new meter.

FYI, my weight is 54.5kg, and my fat percentage using my new OSIM weighing scale shows that it's only 21.1%. I fit in snuggly in size 10, M or even S occasionally. I fit into my size 28 jeans.

Does any of these spell O-B-E-S-I-T-Y to you?

True. Chow is on the tabby side. But no, he's not the walking lard barrels u see in the streets who are CLINICALLY proven to be obese. He needs exercise (and he's good at diet control these days...Love you lots dearie!!) but he does not need gastric bypass or cosmetic liposuction.

I dun deny that my weighing scale may be inaccurate as well. I have dimples on my butt cheeks and thighs too. But 10% difference is ALOT.

Anyway, I got quite annoyed for that piece of information. How can I allow both of us to be commercially-diagnosed as obese? So we simply cut short the chase by telling J that we are here for the passes and it's only after 2 weeks then we noe exactly how this membership can adjust to our lifestyle. J simply, and quite rude in a way, said she will then not push, gave us our passes and tix, closed her files, and left the table after shaking hands.

Strangely, I got my GV tix that Mel said she didnt get.

Hmm.

Work

2006-03-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

Been feeling quite melancholic these days and I'm gg to blame it on the hormones. Have been missing my dear girls as they are either bz with their work and thesis. One of them is far far and away to start with. Mayb it's the work as well.

I'm reli starting to hate my work. Barely 2 weeks after my blk leave, Im starting to feel that I need another one soon before I throw in the towel. Maybe Im not working smart enough (somehow, my customers always get agitated by me duno why. my voice not sweet enuf?? Kaoz)but reli, having to get scoldings left right centre for the bank (which is not paying enuf to justify all these sufferings, insults and battering) is not my cup of tea.

Working shift now...2-11pm shift sucks big time. u start work at 2pm, then have to eat lunch/dinner at 345pm. After the meal break at 5pm, u need to work till 11pm. 6 hours. 6 whole bloody hours picking up calls non stop and there's no second break to get dinner.

0.5h more to go and talking to a customer now. Sians...another waiver to be done.

6.5 mths here...first 6 mths passed by quite quickly. God knows why, it feels like eternity now.

Shirley said I should stay on cuz i'll excel here. Maybe I will, but maybe my stamina and tolerance will run out first b4 I see the day.

Sigh.

I want to tender.

But going off without a job is gg to be even more shitty than this. I need to money...I need the experience as well.

Honestly though, wat kind of experience is waiving off late charges considered as???

Duno how now. sians.

Cable Ski ROX man!!

2006-03-24T04:05:00.000-08:00

Cable ski ROX!!!!

Went there alone (cuz my mom and bros all fly me kite) to try out singapore's first cable ski. It's not ez lor...the pros juz made it look simple.

For that one single hour, my entire body got a full workout and now, im aching everywhere. I can't even stretch properly or even change my clothes without me cursing and swearing in pain.

But it's so worth it - the pain and the S$30.

For starters, the pros there are quite...cute...and buff..and tan..and, well nice. Haha. And also abit all brawn, no brain. Haha.

Second of all, it was hell of a first-time experience to have you jerked out of ur board and thrown into the water and dragged by the runner for a good 5-10metres.

After 6 unsuccessful tries of trying to wakeboard (and they say it's easier to wakeboard than to kneeboard), I gave up and tried kneeboarding. That is wat I call ez. Managed to to 4 successive rounds in all! Bliss...the wind blowing at your face, the water soaking my skin...and the SUN!!!! Got my sun-kissed skin (though the "tan" is not obvious enough) finally after 6 mths of hiding under the shadow of my PC.

sms the girls and made an "appt" with them to go for another round of skiing after their exams. Dun think i'll wait for them to for my 2nd time at the cable ski...hav plans to go there again next week with my family. Hiak hiak...

Simplicity

2006-01-19T06:40:00.000-08:00

Simplicity

Was quite hooked watching one of those propaganda channel 8 shows (The Love Concierge) recently. I don't reli noe why, cuz this is not the first time channel 8 came up with complicated love stories with one-dimensional, shallow characters, but somehow, i'm just hooked la.

Mayb cuz it's such a no-brainer.

Despite all it's propaganda and black and white storyline, today's episode bore some truth in it. Fiona Xie's character (Ruxin) and whathisname's character (Sunny) had a shotgun marriage. Now, to make things more complicated, both just started their careers and Sunny's newly set-up company was going bankrupt. Ruxin kept scramping and saving for their future and had a very simple wedding by the beach(at Sentosa, where else?).

So sweet.

She said this: "A simple wedding filled with love is the most perfect wedding ever."

Oh man...

Currently planning for MY own ROM reception. The date's pretty much settled to be the end of this year but not the venue (by venue, it doesn't mean the ROM itself), the guestlist, the food, blah blah, blah blah. Have this great, irresistable urge to keep it small and managable, simple and pleasant, no frills, all thrills. But it's damn HARD. The guestlist keeps adding on, we are spoilt for venue choices, the food prices are damn competitive.

And honestly, I have a perchant for beautiful, classic and flowery stuff. And I'm very, very, very very veryvery veryveryvery tempted to get a florist to do up the venue.

But of course, it's going to cost a BOMB.

Well, despite these all, I'm glad that I've gotten over the most tedious part of the marriage planning part -- the groom search.

I noe I noe, this entry cannot get any cheesier than cheese, and yes, it'll make my dear single gfs' skin crawl.

But hey! After 4 heartbreaks and a good decade of searching, the courting stage IS the hardest part. A good wedding party can be planned within 2 years, a love nest can be chosen in a year, a baby can be made in 5 min and delivered within 10 mths...but all these without that CHOSEN one to spend your life with??? Priceless.

After all these big ho-ha, life goes back to normal ya?

Ya ya, I'm psyching myself to have a cheaper ROM reception...

Sing

Broken Strings

2006-01-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

Broken Strings

I was sure you were there
In clouds of my memory
I remember you

Breathing life into your thoughts
Your animated motions
Not a single day went past
Without your
Laughter, anger, smiles, frowns
Without
You.
In this world.

What was in your mind?
Did you see yourself, and this world
Full of life
Angst, hope, promises, frustrations
Did you
Finally gave up hope?
Finally gave up
And cut all strings of attachment to this world,
To me?

I felt it.

A weightless balloon let slip from my hands
I can't feel it
Until I turned to look,
And saw it
Heading towards the clouds
Drifting with the wind...

Be at peace at where you are now.

Let us
Fill up this void you left
It's getting filled
I can't remember
Your smile,
Laughter,
Anger,
Frustrations.

I can't remember
You.

But you were here.
You were
Just the broken strings I kept holding onto.

It's been quite sometime I've written my last poem. Can't even remember what it was about. Anyway, everytime I shower, everytime I look out of my plastic door, I keep recalling the day I look out of the glass at the viewing room, seeing her white coffin pushed into the furnance.

Life is so fragile. And it's so easily forgotten. Barely a month passed and I can't remember most of what Ms Tan was like. Except that she was the most patient, kind, and loving teacher I've ever, ever had the honor to be under her tutorage.

I still tear when I think of her. But honestly, what for? I don't know. But I still do.

Maybe it was for this lack of understanding I have of her and now, I'll never know more about her.

Guess we'll never know right?

Paranoia

2006-01-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

Paranoia

These days, whenever I'm with a crowd of strangers stuck in the train or wherever, I have this tendancy to think that anyone of them could be, or was a, EOD (Expression of Disatisfaction) customer of my bank, i.e. complain customer.

I told Mel about it, and she said I'm paranoid and I'm thinking too much.

Ya, but how can I help it esp working in this kind of environment.

I don't mean to say that it's bad. I like it here (though waking up at 6:50am is a bitch), esp the colleagues.

Sort of realised that I'm not reli the kind who reli, truly, like to meet new people. I like those I stick with all the time (which explains the same good old people I hang around with) and it's kinda hard to accept new ppl in.

Esp since I've started work.

Charlene said that the biggest flaw in me, is that I'm not warm and open enuf to new people.

Fair enuf. Well, u can't said I have not tried.

They say you understand yourself better after you work.

Oh yes, I realised I'm not that sociable afterall.

Which brings me to another thing to talk about.

Chow got another invite for me to this tea reception at the Istana. He sounded damn happy that he'll be walking amoung the political giants and that he'll have the chance to shake hands with Uncle Lee, Uncle Goh and Uncle Nathan.

I just froze.

Knowing how stupidly outspoken I am, I'm just very afraid that I'll say something so dumb these people will be so disappointed in the education system and fire the whole team working in the ministry of education.

Honestly, it's just me and my non-newspaper reading habits. If that will cause them to lose their jobs, I'll be sinned for the rest of my life. And these blood stained hands will never type an entry again.

Ok, not making sense.

Looks like I've got to speed read all the previous ST publications before the 5th of Feb. Wish me luck.

Sing

Shhh..not too loud..

2006-01-11T05:23:00.000-08:00

Shhh...not too loud

I had an Indian screaming, schizophrenic customer today.

Initially, she sounded warm and friendly over the phone, although there was a tinge of frustration and despair that she had to do normal verification processes and blah blah. So far enough, I was nice to her too.

She doesn't have THAT many accounts. Only about a handful of...5? And yet she claimed that the stmts didn't state what they are (come on, they have headings there to say that group the pdts belong too..e.g. credit cards and cc balance trfs under credit cards and personal credit line aka pcl under loans. Besides there are also account nos. for you to refer to if u are reli THAT blur), causing her to have a headache and be totally confused.

So fine, I explained to her what accounts she has and blah blah...

So far so good.

Until we talked about her PCL account.

She asked if THE account is linked to her cc.

I said no, madam, the account is not linked to her cc, the ccbt is though.

She started yelling at me, and asked me why I made her even more confused.

I was like "WTF are u talking about??"

She then screamed again, that if I were confused about these accounts, how is she, a poor old lady, suppose to figure out all these??

Then I realised, she was referring to her CCBT account, not her PCL account anymore.

OH COME ON!! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT UR PCL ACCOUNT RIGHT U STUPID WOMAN?? How am I suppose to read your mind and know that THE account you are talking about it the CCBT account?!!?!

Then she asked for the outstanding.

I asked her for which account.

She SCREAMED again.

"DIDN'T YOU JUST HEAR WHAT I TELL YOU?? HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU NEED ME TO REPEAT MYSELF??"

Oh fuck off...

"Ok Madam, you os for your CCBT account is...."

"DON'T BE STUPID!! I ASKED YOU, WHAT IS THE OS FOR MY PCL ACCOUNT????"

Don't be stupid? Don't be stupid? Who the fuck is the stupid one here you bitch!

Of course, being the nice and service oriented service consultant, the pride has to be swallowed like a bitter pill and...

"Madam (bitch from hell, I wish you'll just drop dead right at this moment for screaming too much and have a heart attack), your os is now at S$5325.39."

"WHAT??? HOW COME IT'S NOT STATED HERE IN THIS STMT?!"

"Madam, (u bitch! can you stop screaming?!?!) the os of S$5000 over is due to..."

"WHY MUST YOU STATE ONLY 'S$5000 OVER'??? CAN'T YOU QUOTE ME THE ENTIRE AMT??!!?"

"Ok! Madam! Your outstanding of your PCL account no. xxxxxxxx is Sing Dollars five-three-two-five-point-three-nine! Your outstanding of your CCBT account no. yyyy-yyyy-yyyy-yyyy is sing dollars nine-two-point-seven-zero! And you DO NOT, I REPEAT MADAM, DO NOT have any outstanding for your Credit card no. zzzz-zzzz-zzzz-zzzz. ANY OTHER QUESTIONS FOR ME MADAM? DO YOU LIKE ME TO REPEAT ALL THESE NOS TO YOU IF YOU ARE STILL SO CONFUSED?!"

Well, madam was obviously very shell-shocked.

But of course, customers are always right and they do not have to swallow any bitterpills.

"OK THANK YOU FOR YOUR RELI EXCELLANT SERVICE YA?" -- Madam then slams the phone down.

Of course. You are welcome.

Drowning Rat

2006-01-09T19:43:00.000-08:00

Drowning Rat

It's been raining cats and dogs consecutively for the past 3 days and nights.

U mean there's so much water to spare for torrents of rain like these??

If there are ways to keep these water from evaporating in sunny months of April - July...then Singapore don't need to worry about water shortage at all.

Walking to work from Paya Lebar MRT to Cisco Centre is a bitch these days...the wind was so strong my poor 10-year old umbrella was at its mercy...I think it'll break my heart to know that one day the rain and wind will break it. I had it for 10 years, dammit! It's got sentimental values...

Not like it was useful actually. I reach the office like a drowning rat. And this grumpy, drenched rat will then start logging into her AVAYA, and spread her grumpiness to customers who called in, and her grumpiness will spread from them to THEIR workplace, and so on, so forth.

Oh boy, I feel so powerful all of a sudden as a customer service officer.

Haha.

I just told Mel that it's my goal that by the end of this year, a solid S$10k will be sitting in my account.

She said I sound like a typical worker.

Like I've got a choice. Even with $10k, it's considered peanuts, you noe. With S$10k, how much of this Singaporean dream -- a stable income with a happy family of 5 owning a HDB flat and a weekend car, each comes together with 30 years of mortgage and 10 years of car loan -- can I fulfil?

Now why is that this rat doesn't want S$10k by the end of the year?

Sing

Happy New Year!!!!

2006-01-07T22:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, have not been updating this blog since forever. I admit, cuz have reli been lazy to even check my emails.

I promise this will not happen again.

2005 came and went, and 2005 was a very significant year for me...There were several small and big turning points along the way, and as much as I want to type out every single story into this blog, can't do so now cuz there are so many of them and yes, I've been lazy and it's not quite possible to do so now when there is room-clean/clearing for me to do, spiderwebs to clear and ants nests to destroy.

Yes, daddy-long-legs are getting cosy at corners of my room and ants are building their nests in my closets and I need to go all out to DESTROY!!! It's MY room for God's sake, wat the hell are they here??? They need to pay rent...if not, OUT THEY GO!

Anyway, to sum up 2005, here are all the major snapshots in 5-liners-or-less paragraphs...

April 2005:
Got hold of my first job at Rotol Singapore! But of course, left the place after 2 weeks. Haha...

May 2005:
Flew to Japan with Mel and Chow the very first time!!!! Spent 4 days in Tokyo, and we had a great time there ever. The fantastic food, the lazy mornings, the cramped hotel room, the tedious train and bus journeys to different destinations...4 days wasn't enough...I missed the moments spent tog with my dear and best fren...and I miss the beef rice bowl there in Yoshinoya. Haha.

5th July 2005:
HE PROPOSED!! He went down on his knees and asked me to marry him! *grinz* It was at this little paradise of ours with all the little blue spotlights shining from the floor...Their reflections from the ceiling mirrors where like showers of blue stars...cannot forget this day when I bowled him to the ground, us grinning away the entire night when I said "yes".

8th July 2005:
Graduation. Finally.

Sept - Dec 2005:
Started work in Standard Chartered Bank as a Service Consultant in the call centre. That's the day when I realised how much more credit and respect we people deserve. But ah well, thank god for the good working environment and very helpful colleagues. Had quite a lot of fun here - dressing up as LOTR (me as Wormtongue. I dun blame u if u duno him), won 3rd for DB Idol, and had X'mas dinner with my team at Pub Stop.

Nov 2005:
Ms Tan passed away. After battling cancer for the past 2 years, her body finally gave way and she was called home by the Lord. I heard from her caretaker that she saw and touched the most beautiful sunflowers ever during her very last moments. We all missed her Mona Lisa smile dearly. For the teacher who gave her life to everyone ard her but herself, we love you. I hope to see you again.

Dec 2005:
Festive Season + birthday celebrations!! Spent so much money on presents and cakes..coolllll...

31st Dec 2005:
New Year's Eve!! Spend the entire night and New Year morning out with my best buddies, Chow and bros...First, we partied at Mel's fren's private function at Fullerton Hotel till 1am plus, followed by an hour of painful walking journey to cineleisure to catch the chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Returned home totally exhausted...

Ah well, here we are, year 2006. A couple of resolutions to fulfill, and mainly, it's to treasure those ard me more...Ms Tan's passing was a painful jolt to realisation on how little time I've spent treasuring.

Also, having changed 3 jobs within 6 mths made me more determined to stay in my current one for good, cuz reli, it's a good working environment though the job scope is shitty. Rolling rock gathers no moss...planning to take up CMFAS as well to b a more qualified banker.

And also, fulfil this huge dream of mine to run the marathon by the end of the year. Missed it so many times alr and dun wan to miss it again this time.

Finally, marriage prep... :) I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this man whom I love heart n soul. Do u too my dear?

Sing

I Must Learn To Be More *GL

2005-11-10T22:29:00.000-08:00

Reli.

On the first day of work, Shirley (my trainer cun CSM) told us that usually, the bunch of people working in the customer service sectors are a nicer bunch of tactful people who have a tendency to sympatize and express empathy. I was like, sure, shouldn't be a problem, anything would be better than my previous cut-throat sales job since a good sales person usually dun wrap their arms around their customers and shower them with love.

Oh man. I was so wrong.

The more TLC I gave, the harder the customers 'slap' me left right centre over the phone. The better my listening ear, the louder they scream. The broader my shoulders, the higher they climb till they are over my head and start shitting on it.

And it's not MY fault at all. THEY missed their payments on purpose, cause they don't have the $$ to make a minimum payment. THEY threw away their letters of decline without reading them and still screamed bloody murder when they found out they are blacklisted months later. THEY claimed to be too bz and hence didn't update their mailing address and still point the finger at ME for sending months of stmt to their old address.

Wow! I'm sorry but my crystal ball wasn't working recently.

But you noe, I need to give them the benefit of the doubt...maybe they reli didn't make that $2 dispute transaction. Or maybe their vengeful maids reli tore up their letters and purposely got them in the hot soup. And perhaps it was reli my duty to monitor the moving plans of every SCB customers. So yes, I'll doubt my better judgement, close one eye, let them scream, hear them roar till the cows come home and the pigs can fly.

All because I'm in customer service and I should be empathetic to their dyslexia problems, sympathetic to their dementia plight.

But today after a meeting with a VC from the marketing dept, I'm so absolutely determined to be more *GL. She commented that a SC-customer relationship is not any different from a boy-girl relationship. Play hard to get to keep the fire burning. In other words, fuck the formalities, screw the TLC and sympathy. If the customer threatens to cancel the loan account just because he feels that for some reason, his rights were being compromised, let him cancel and make him feel NOT VALUED.

Bloody hell. Why didn't I think of that?????? Haven't my 4 other sour relationships taught me anything in life????? Try hard to value a person, like buying him his favourite egg tarts every single day, become his errand girl and personal maid will not guarentee his devotion????? Sheesh! We are all human anyway. Greedy ones! The logic is the same in any relationship. Today I give in to let him kiss me on the first date, tomorrow he'll want to touch somewhere else. Today I give him a late charge waiver, tomorrow he'll ask for a waiver for his authorised transactions.

And so, another lap of the learning journey completed in theory. Playing hard to get is not restricted within the boundaries of the dating warzone. I HAVE to be GL even at work. Afterall, it's business as usual. U use my service, u pay for my service. Oh yes, the sympathy part remains -- It works to no advantage to myself if I were to tell the customer off by saying that it's all HIS/HER fault for not being able to pay up and still want to chalk up a $10k bill on his/her credit card. But a firm NO, would mean, simply, no.

Hey hey, SCB doesnt stand for Samaritan Charity Bank. So you dun wan the a/c? Ok, thank you sir, I don't want YOU to keep owing me money either.

~*Sing*~

* For the benefit of those who are strangers to Hokkien acronyms, GL stands for "Guai Lan". LL is "Lan Lan". KNS means "KaNa Sai". And the list goes on...Why bother? Well, I'm one of the GD (Gan Dans) who don't think it's too lady-like to pepper my speech with Hokkien vulgarities but it's ok to mutter (or scream) the occasional "F*** off"...okok. I noe I noe I noe. So self-righteous and AS (Act Seh) but too bad, it's a habit...

I Commited Suicide In My Past Life

2005-10-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

You commited suicide. I don't know why but the
world was just getting to be to much for you.
You felt as if even the people that sincerly
wanted to help you were only making things
worse. But now you're back because you have a
mission to fufill that you never got to finish
before. So don't give up, you're here for a
reason that you don't know about yet.

And perhaps I might do the same too in this life.

Went home feeling depressed after work and the walking journey to the MRT platform was a decision to jump off the platform or not. Even shamelessly cried on the train. Had my jacket over my head and suffocated my sobs using its sleeves. I have no idea why my mood was at its low point all of a sudden, juz keep having flashbacks on the fact that this is my 3rd job of the year, and for some reason, I can't seem to be mixing as well as I want to be with colleagues. Feeling left out most of the time and over time, it didnt numb me, it gets worse.

Actually, I reli duno why I feel this way. I feel I can't keep up with the competition tho this job is reli a far ezier-to-chew piece of cake (but still consistantly reminded on how stupid I am next to Siying, how not professional I am next to Melissa, and how proud I am next to Joewe), and most of the time, I dun feel good. I'm drained. I'm tired. I feel that I can't seem to carry on anymore.

It takes a very brave person to carry on living. I duno if I haf that courage at all these days.

Shoe Frenzy!!!

2005-09-18T02:45:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo!! I love shoes!! I love the power of holding to a (ok-paying) job cuz I have the money to spend!! I love to be part of the driving force of the SIN economy...read: being young and a reckless spender.

Ok, so there is the saving part and the flat to think about. But hey! Any girl (myself included) needs that little amt of $$ to spend to make herself happy right? It's only when she's pretty, she is more confident, and when she's more confident, she'll be happier ya? It's a logical cycle...I still save too alright...

Anyway, here are the new members of the family's shoe closet...they are all soooooo chio lor! Cannot stand it... the best part: Got a couple of them at up to 50% clearance / closing down sales.

JW

Shopping location: Takashimaya
Brand name: JW
Description: Velvet base, velvet straps
Price: S$60-ish
What I love about it: Very very comfortable! The heels are not too high (about 3") and the soft
velvet feeling is un-beatable.

Z'oe

Shopping location: Takashimaya
Brand name: Z;oe
Description: Flatties, with a decorated plastic pc and a diamond-studded toe pc which holds the
feet down
Price: S$40-ish
What I love about it: Classy-relax look. Good for occassions when u can't dress too sloppily, but
gowns are not required. Good for work too! :)

Job Hunting Goes On...

2005-09-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's been one week since I'm out of Recruit Express. Kinda got used to not doing anything at all and finally am able to fully rest and relax at home. Ahh...Bliss.

But of course, this bliss won't be for long. It can't be for long unless I'm a Tai Tai and even so, $$ does matter. Had a chat with up-and-coming insurance agent Candice and her mentor, Royce yesterday and had a clearer understanding on what it meant by money-no-enuf. I need a minimum of 840K by the time I retire at the age of 65 to enjoy the rest of my life/make sure I'm better taken care of if I fall ill/take care of the rest of the family if I die. Ouch.

Now with no income and hanging around recuperating, 840K is truly staggering. But I need a job first right??

Have been applying for jobs over the past week. Sending out an average of 1.5 resumes per day. So far so good, think I'll enjoy myself for another 1-2 weeks before the interviews start coming in...Besides, there's a chijmes bazaar coming up in Oct and I'm taking part in it with my mom and aunt. Better start coming up with new designs for the mugs and tiles...dun think it'll be pure cutesy pics of animals anymore -- quite bored with the genre -- thinking of something more abstract and scenic...the auntie in me beckons...mayb i'll draw a lot of tulips and flowers...haha...

Sing

Starting From Square One

2005-08-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

Rotol Singapore Pte Ltd

Got this job about half a month before my final year exams and was jumping up and down like a jack rabbit in my room when I got the news from Mandy (the then PA of the company). Even intercom-ed the whole house saying I've got my first job.

10 days after my first day at work, I had to leave the company. Not say fired, more like, director didnt feel that I fit into the role. (Come on! PA role to a director for a fresh grad!! Wat was he thinking to start with??) Took a month's break to Melbourne with my family.

Recruit Express Pte Ltd

Merely 1 week after I returned from Melbourne, I signed the doted line and started work almost immediately after I got back from Tokyo (1st July 2005). Was very happy there initially and thot I 'fit'. Truth hit me hard after the first month (with the roll-over from the previous month's left over target) on the nose and also back to square one as to what I reli want? Left on the 25th August 2005.

BLEAH.

Now on the hunt for jobs again. It can't get any worse than this right? I still haf to start off somewhere anyway...Besides, I left for the better, not for the worse. Quite true, cuz I end up pickier than ever. No point being so tired and slogging my arse to work almost everyday, or worse, FEAR work itself.

Besides, I finally got the time to sit back, relax and admire the mess I created in my room despite my non-exsistance in my house over the past 2 months. And trying to pick up some html now cuz I'm itching to create my own blogskin. Dun get me wrong, I love the blogskins in blogskins.com. But somehow, there's always something missing there, or something extra there that I don't like, or I simply cant find (or too lazy to find) the theme I want for my blog. Ah well, nothing beats creating something of your own...

Tho I think I'll take an awefully long time to create one.

Cant wait to put up my blogskin tho.

Sing

Lost

2005-08-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

Im feeling lost in my room.

Im lost in this room of mess. And yes, now that I'm jobless, I ort to have alot of time to clear them all up. But reli! The presence of this clutter does make alot of sense, and I juz dun see the need, or haf half the urge my mom has, to clear them up.

I like the way my room is. Makes me feel cosy. Hey mom! It's MY room. I love to be buried under all the piles of junk, which are not reli junk. Juz things I wont use for the next 5-10 years.

Comfort zone. Gives me a sense of security, sense of rootedness. Ya, I'll juz sit ard in front of my lappie, and start growing roots to anchor me to this chair. I can be like this for the rest of my life, i dun mind. Juz keep the electrical supply going to my lappie, i'll be happy.

Chow always say that a person's room is a good reflection on what's going on in his/her mind. Hmm...I think u can call me sentimental then, cuz there are random pics of the past here and there. Or confused, cuz there's not specific theme in my room. One corner's full of my art work, the cushion area is full of soft toys and figurines. Another corner is devoted to my text books.

I think I might be schizophrenic. They say that schizophrenia is generic, i.e. passed from parents to children via genes, and it's not stress-related.

If my room is a reflection of my mind, does that make me schizophrenic since it's so diverse and represents different sides of me? But it also represent that one side of me: LOST.

Ok, so maybe I'm not schizo. I'm juz lost and confused as to what the hell I'm suppose to do with my life. I recently quit RE at the expense of one month's salary to have some quiet moments as to what to do in the future. Considered taking up a Dip/Masters in Physiotherapy next year, and meanwhile, settle down with a perm job. But taking a Dip/Masters would mean 3-4 years of sacrifice. And there's this money factor to consider too............

Juz called up NYP for some advice. Ms. Mina, the 3rd year coordinator for the physio course, adviced me not to take up a dip cuz it will lead to only a degree after 4 years. I could make use of this time to go for a Masters overseas instead. Cuz instead of having 2 degrees and 1 diploma, I wld haf 1 degree, and 1 Masters.

Ya, overseas. 2 -4 years overseas. Need i say more?

There's still a shred of hope tho. She said that SGH is considering holding an accelerated Masters course in physiotherapy. But so far, it's all talk. The plan has been going on for 2 years, and mayb, it'll take another 1-2 years for this to plan to materialise. If i want to go ahead with the plan to take the Masters programme, then I shld consider overseas instead of waiting and waiting.

Weighing the odds, waiting might be a better option for me. $$ is an issue now, fiance is also an issue, needing that working experience is also a huge issue too. But by the time this plan materialize (keep in mind that it might not even), I mite not even take it up cuz I might already have family commitments to handle.

What to do, what to do???

I'm so lost...

Sing

New Blog...New Intro Entry

2005-08-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

Decided to start blogging again cuz it's been hard to catch up with frenz. Mite as well slave blogging as a tool of...well, letting frenz catch up with my life.

*Sounds so obnoxious*

But hey! Dun be mistakened, I will love to haf your blog addy (if you do haf any) and I welcome your little updates on my blog with your comments! :)

Well, I'll keep this entry short and sweet. Till then, take care k?

Luv,
Sing

Sing

Prata, Diarrhoea and the Gents

On the Line Again

Steve Irwin

Tired...

Life Goes On

IT''S ALIVE!!!!

Very Eng Now

Black Clouds Hanging Over Many Heads

Feeloaders

Enlistment Day

Spelling Boohoohoohooo

Spelling Boohoohoohooo

Tennis! *owww...*

Im Obese?!? Then Who's Average?!

Work

Cable Ski ROX man!!

Simplicity

Broken Strings

Paranoia

Shhh..not too loud..

Drowning Rat

Happy New Year!!!!

I Must Learn To Be More *GL

I Commited Suicide In My Past Life

Shoe Frenzy!!!

Job Hunting Goes On...

Starting From Square One

Lost

New Blog...New Intro Entry

Tennis! owww...